Take my hamster please.
Well, Franzie escaped...again.
To make a long story short, when I woke up in the wee hours of the morning (as I usually do) to the sounds of an insane rodent trying to gnaw her way to freedom, I noted that it all sounded a bit louder than usual. I was hungover/still drunk, however, so I just went back to sleep.
Now, this happened a couple more times, and eventually, sometime around 8am I finally decided to check out what the commotion was...by which I mean I sat up in bed, and, even as I was screaming "fuck off," I see this lump of fur leap across the room.
She has also somehow figured out how to open every door to her cage.
Franzie, as it turns out, had been backstroking Scrooge McDuck style in a gigantic bag of feed. I'm sure that she had been planning this particular binge as a fun prelude to eventually gnawing away at my jugular.
I should probably mention, in case you haven't inferred as much already, that she is diabolically intelligent and, judging by her inexplicable jumping ability, also far stronger than any hamster should be.
I wish that I could just let her go into the wild with a clear conscience, but I've been told that that would be cruel. To all you readers out there: I would really welcome any PETA-esque criticism as long as the eventual result would be someone taking Franzie away. Yes, I am a terrible person, certainly - just take the beast with you when you storm off in disgust.
To make a long story short, when I woke up in the wee hours of the morning (as I usually do) to the sounds of an insane rodent trying to gnaw her way to freedom, I noted that it all sounded a bit louder than usual. I was hungover/still drunk, however, so I just went back to sleep.
Now, this happened a couple more times, and eventually, sometime around 8am I finally decided to check out what the commotion was...by which I mean I sat up in bed, and, even as I was screaming "fuck off," I see this lump of fur leap across the room.
She has also somehow figured out how to open every door to her cage.
Franzie, as it turns out, had been backstroking Scrooge McDuck style in a gigantic bag of feed. I'm sure that she had been planning this particular binge as a fun prelude to eventually gnawing away at my jugular.
I should probably mention, in case you haven't inferred as much already, that she is diabolically intelligent and, judging by her inexplicable jumping ability, also far stronger than any hamster should be.
I wish that I could just let her go into the wild with a clear conscience, but I've been told that that would be cruel. To all you readers out there: I would really welcome any PETA-esque criticism as long as the eventual result would be someone taking Franzie away. Yes, I am a terrible person, certainly - just take the beast with you when you storm off in disgust.
posted by Annie at 6:01 PM
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